My love/hate relationship with perfume

Did I ever say how much I love perfume? No? Well… I LOVE PERFUME!!

I’ll tell you how much I love perfume… I work from home; mostly the only humans I see are my husband, the postie, & delivery people. Yet, every morning after I’ve showered, moisturised, and dressed I use one of my many perfumes, not for anyone else – because let’s face it, my sometimes expensive, (sometimes not so) perfumes are wasted on the delivery person – just me, and maybe my husband… 😉

So now you know all that let me reveal another nugget…

I hate perfume advertisements, I mean… REALLY hate them! And I hate them to such an extent that I have a list of the worst offending brands that are on my ‘no buy list’ due to what I consider a rubbish advert.

Who are the adverts for, anyway? Is it for the end user? ie. Me?

If these adverts are for my benefit all I’ll say is… you don’t have to… no really. Don’t!

I know for sure I don’t want to see a close up of Keira Knightley’s beige clad arse as she straddles a motorbike, which is surely a metaphor I don’t even want to think too hard about, and I don’t know what’s worse; the close up of the arse or that the arse is beige clad.

Then there’s the woman waking up in the middle of the night to run through town solo – naughty! Don’t go out on your own after dark* – just to retrieve your bottle of perfume is very careless, and beyond silly. If you need the perfume that badly keep some in your bedroom.

Then there’s the woman writhing around on what looks like a very grubby floor clutching the perfume bottle to her mouth. Far from giving the impression of ‘Decadence’ as the ad would have you believe, it instead looks like she was taken hostage. Hostage or not you would think they could give her a chair to sit on and something to eat.

And finally there’s the very talented Charlize Theron being hauled up to the ceiling on a length of gold fabric, or the equally talented Julia Roberts in ‘chains’. Hmmph. I would be impressed with the former if she carried a feather duster up there… And as for the latter, where’s the kitchen sink?!

With these few examples, I conclude that the ads aren’t actually aimed at me; they are perhaps, and stereotypically aimed at my husband, which is where I get even more annoyed. My husband I think, has bought me three bottles of perfume (ever) because I like to buy my own, I don’t need or even want him to buy it. It’s nice if he does, but he doesn’t need to.

You see, it might just be me, but I find these ads so unintelligent, the makers give us little credit. Do they really think we’re swayed by their unassailable, unrealistic stories? Do they think we are mesmerised by the sight of Keira Knightley’s arse, or Charlize’s ribbon? Or Keira and Charlize themselves?

Or is the ad giving us an idea of how the perfume smells? Because all I see in these ads is the aforementioned, so I really don’t want to think about arse, grubby rooms, or chains when imagining a perfume!

What I would love to see in an ad are normal women in normal situations.

Maybe she sprays her favourite fragrance after a long day at work and is instantly lifted as she snuggles into her favourite bath robe. I could see this in an ad!

Maybe she sprays her perfume after a long shower during which her partner looked after the baby, allowing her a brief period of alone time and the opportunity to get rid of the smell of baby sick. I can picture the advert now!

Or maybe they could shoot the story of the backpacker, who after a hot, dusty day trekking through Australia, takes a tiny atomiser from a pocket in her rucksack, allowing herself the luxury of the one spray per week. Carrying a rucksack means bare essentials only, but that teeny atomiser was invaluable (true story). Nicole Kidman could be in that one, think Australia the film!

Yeah, I know these scenarios aren’t that exciting, but that’s sort of the point. These faboo advert creators can make it work, and I hope they do… because my banned list gets longer by the week, and a few of my favourite perfumes ‘aarrrrgh’ from brands now on the banned list!

*This applies to all humans, not just women. Use the buddy system!

My love/hate relationship with perfume