It’s been a rant-y few weeks so this week I’m thinking of fun things. Well, fun to everyone else that participates, but for me it’s a bit of a minefield. What am I talking about? I’m talking about ‘gaming’. The reason for the apostrophes may become apparent later.
I didn’t get a games console until I was grown up, so I am attached, and will have a console always I think. The problem I have is the actual games. I’m not a hard core gamer, and when you’re a grown up but the age limit on games that most suits you is 3+, this can cause a problem. And when those 3+ games throw up difficulties, this too is a problem.
You see, if I’m going to play a game-game, I like to collect stuff. I like to wander around looking at pleasing landscapes, maybe jump occasionally, & collect items, eventually earning a reward for my perseverance. My wonderful husband understood this, and coupled with the fact that I LOVE cats, some years ago bought me Ty the Tasmanian Tiger video game as a gift. On the face of it this was a wise choice, the age is 3+, there was a tiger ambling around in surf shorts, the graphics were cute, and I had to collect shiny red levitating orbs. Perfect! I started the game and it was very enjoyable, did I mention there was a tiger in surf shorts? It was EVERYTHING I had hoped for.
Until the spider.
A SPIDER??!!
I should have known… Tasmania? Doh. The antipodes does a mean spider. But, who puts mahoosive spiders in a kids’ game?!?
I am TERRIFIED of spiders. Whether it be in real life, on a page, or on a screen I just can’t deal with them, and confronted with a rather large ‘enemy’ on my game was a shock. I paused the game in fright whilst deciding what to do. I sat for 20 minutes trying to pluck up the courage to get Ty chomping the offending arachnid but to no avail.
So-I-Rang-My-Neighbour-Who-Came-To-My-Rescue-And-Chomped-The-Spider-On-My-Behalf.
Did I say that so quickly you didn’t notice my cowardice? Oh. You did notice… okay. I might as well come clean. Yes. I did ring my neighbour, and disturb his Saturday. Yes, I did insist he came round to my house. Yes, I did explain that he had to kill a virtual spider, on a game, not an actual spider in my home. And yes, I ignored the fact that my gracious neighbour didn’t play video games and after a lot of pointing at the TV and yelling at him vague instructive words like “JOYSTICK!” and “CROSS!” he took that game off pause and chomped that spider. *fist pump* And finally, yes, I KNOW how RIDICULOUS I am!
I loved most aspects of the game but the spiders & bosses ultimately stopped me completing it. I then had a break from game-games and played virtual golf or poker, no spiders there, just the occasional uber difficult fantasy golf course or a crazy computer generated poker opponent.
By now you understand my gaming dilemma. What constitutes ‘tame and good for children aged three’ is often too much for me it seems. However I recently wanted to come out of my prolonged game-game break and buy some new collecting type games. This takes A LOT of research on the interwebs, after all, searching for “Games aged 3+, no spiders” doesn’t yield much, one would suppose, except maybe shed loads of pictures of spiders.
After much looking, reading, watching YouTube videos of actual game play I found one called De Blob, and also Cloudy with a chance of meatballs and bravely purchased them online.
I completed Cloudy with a chance of meatballs without too much angst. The scary ice cream men (evil snowmen, but made out of ice cream) were outweighed by the humongous amounts of chilli sauce and guacamole thrown about. I love chilli sauce & guacamole!
I’m working my way through De Blob as I write. I have a small problem with the zombie like ‘Blancs’ that appear but so far I am pushing through. I know, my fearlessness knows no bounds…
So keep your fingers crossed that as I progress I won’t happen upon any virtual spiders. I would like to get to the end of this one…
The More You Think... 